There’s that one person on your team — the bad apple who has nothing positive to say, riles up other team members, and makes work life miserable. If you can’t fire them, how do you respond to their behavior? What feedback do you give? How do you mitigate the damage they inflict?
There’s a difference between a difficult employee and a toxic one, when they are toxic not only do they cause harm, but they also spread their behavior to others. There’s a pattern of de-energizing, frustrating or putting down teammates. Typically the whole team suffers because of it. Of course, your first step as a manager should be to avoid hiring toxic people in the first place, but once they’re on your team, it can be hard to get rid of them.
Dig deeper
The first step is to take a closer look at the behavior and what’s causing it. Is the person unhappy in the job? Struggling in their personal life? Frustrated with coworkers? You might meet with them and ask how they’re doing — at work, at home, and with their career development. If you find there’s a reason for why they’re acting the way they are, offer to help.
Give them direct feedback
In many cases, toxic people are oblivious to the effect they have on others. They’re too focused on their own behaviors and needs to be aware of the broader impact. That’s why it’s crucial to give direct and honest feedback — so they understand the problem and have an opportunity to change. The standard feedback rules apply: Objectively explain the behavior and its effects, using specific, concrete examples. Discuss what kind of behavior you’d like to see and develop an improvement plan with the employee.
Explain the consequences
If the carrot doesn’t work, you can also try the stick. We all tend to respond more strongly to potential losses than we do to potential gains, so it’s important to show offenders what they stand to lose if they don’t improve. If the person is hesitant to reform, figure out what they care most about — the privilege of working from home, their bonus—and put that at stake. For most people, the possibility of missing out on a promised promotion or suffering other consequences “tied to the pocketbook” will be a strong motivation to behave in a more civil way.
Accept that some people won’t change
Of course, you should always hope that the person can change but not everyone will respond to the tactics listed above. Some are either unable or unwilling to change. Research has found that “4% of people engage in this kind of behavior just because it’s fun and they believe they can get away with it. In those extreme cases, you should recognize that you won’t be able to fix the problem and begin to explore more serious responses.
Document everything
If you conclude that you really need to fire the person, you must first document their offenses and any response you’ve offered so far. You want to establish a pattern of behavior, the steps you took to address it, the information, warnings or resources provided to the employee, and the failure of the employee to change. Protect yourself and the company show your employee exactly why they are being let go.
Separate the toxic person from other team members
Even if you can’t get rid of a bad apple, you can isolate it from the rest of the bushel so the rot doesn’t spread. People close to a toxic employee are more likely to become toxic themselves, but the good news is that the risk also subsides quickly. As soon as you put some physical distance between the offender and the rest of the team – for example, by rearranging desks, reassigning projects, scheduling fewer all-hands meetings, or encouraging more work-from-home days — you’ll see the situation start to improve. But make sure to do this with discretion. Let employees come to you with their complaints about the toxic colleague and use “one-on-one conversations” to coach them on how they might minimize their interactions.”
Don’t get distracted
Managing a toxic person can eat up your time, energy, and productivity. But don’t spend so much on one individual that your other priorities fall by the wayside. To counteract the negativity and make sure you’re still thriving, surround yourself with supportive, positive people and look for meaning and purpose in your work. Also focus on basic self-care. If someone is draining you, build yourself up by exercising, eating right, sleeping, and taking breaks, both short-term ones and vacations. Being healthy and proactive is the one thing we know that buffers people from the effects of toxic behavior.
Make it a great day!