Monday, September 21, 2015
I came across this on Inc.com, by Bill Murphy Jr. and had to share……..this is great stuff!
We all do it sometimes. We undermine ourselves by using less effective language, verbal tics, and other oral miscues. That means there’s always room for improvement to help your messages get through effectively.
We can all also use a little reminder now and then, so here are a handful of the worst offenses.
“No problem” (when you really mean “you’re welcome”)
When you say “no problem” in response to “thank you,” you’re actually devaluing the person who offers thanks by suggesting that whatever you did for him or her was of so little value to you that it hardly required effort.
“Sorry” (when you mean “excuse me”)
Everyone appreciates a sincere apology, but using “sorry” when you really mean “excuse me” (or perhaps simply “get out of my way”) undermines your professionalism–and can make you sound a little like a bully.
“Just … ”
There’s not enough justice in this world, but when you use the word just in the wrong context, you minimize your impact. “I just want to bring up one point,” for example, telegraphs that whatever you’re about to say is of little importance.
“Know what I mean?”
While it’s smart to ensure that people you’re speaking with are on the same page, it’s pretty annoying–and unprofessional–to be so unaware of your verbal tics that you keep repeating the same phrases.
“You guys … ”
Using “you guys” as an all-purpose substitute for the second-person plural is a bad habit that can undermine your message by making assumptions about how familiar your audience really wants to be.
Apologetic (nervous) laughter
Unapologetic laughter is great, and often contagious. Apologetic, nervous laughter is at best undermining, and at worst, unnerving.
Wandering eyes
Rule number 1: Try to maintain eye contact. Rule number 2: If you can’t maintain eye contact, at least try not to stare at the person’s other body parts. It drowns out anything you might try to say.
“In my opinion … ”
If you’re going to assert something, in most cases you come across as more professional if you simply assert it–not undermine your own point by saying it’s only your opinion. (We know it’s your opinion; convince us of it.)
“Like … ”
There’s a lot to like about like, but there’s little to like about its use as an all-purpose filler.
“Um … ”
Only the smoothest, most-rehearsed talkers are able to overcome the fact that the intelligent human brain thinks much faster than we’re able to express those thoughts; that’s part of why we all rely on verbal crutches like “um” and “uh.” That said, overusing these is highly distracting and undermines your credibility.
Cursing
Well-timed strategic profanity can be effective. Lazy cursing is distracting in many cases, and can be totally undermining depending on your audience.